This essay made me cry, first because of your tenderness in describing these complicated feelings of grief and transition in your own personal journey, and second because of the universality of these kinds of feelings and how often we try to deny them or push them away. I so relate to the feelings of shame, confusion, and loss when things don’t happen the way you’ve envisioned and the duality of feeling irritated/trapped by the very things that saved you. Gratitude and guilt live together more often than we like to admit, and we all experience times of having to unearth the past and face up to the pain and regret that gets intrinsically embedded into life at those moments when we “do what we gotta do” to survive. You write, “The opposite of pride isn't shame, it's resolve: resolve to restore and improve that which has become worn. To mend, to fix.” I’m in a season of mending in my life and am grateful to you for this reminder that hope is there to be found, in nature, in our most cherished relationships, and in the act of being brave enough to change, even when it hurts like hell. Thank you for this, your writing goes straight to my heart every time.
The process of moving is such an emotional (and physical) one! My husband and I recently relocated out of state with a 14 month old and I can relate to so much to the overwhelm, regret, and hope. My Dad passed away in 2020 and as the keeper of his belongings, sorting through those boxes again was my biggest dread. I went slowly but surely (it’s amazing what can be done during baby’s nap times!) and was amazed when somehow everything got done.
We’re still getting settled in here and the culture shock of living in the south as opposed to the Midwest is starting to set in. We also realized this week that because of his work visa, my husband will have to go back to our old city for six weeks, leaving the baby and dog and I told hold down the fort here.
Moving is so complicated but I think there are a lot of lessons ripe for the plucking and if we make an effort, a lot of integration and healing, too.
This essay made me cry, first because of your tenderness in describing these complicated feelings of grief and transition in your own personal journey, and second because of the universality of these kinds of feelings and how often we try to deny them or push them away. I so relate to the feelings of shame, confusion, and loss when things don’t happen the way you’ve envisioned and the duality of feeling irritated/trapped by the very things that saved you. Gratitude and guilt live together more often than we like to admit, and we all experience times of having to unearth the past and face up to the pain and regret that gets intrinsically embedded into life at those moments when we “do what we gotta do” to survive. You write, “The opposite of pride isn't shame, it's resolve: resolve to restore and improve that which has become worn. To mend, to fix.” I’m in a season of mending in my life and am grateful to you for this reminder that hope is there to be found, in nature, in our most cherished relationships, and in the act of being brave enough to change, even when it hurts like hell. Thank you for this, your writing goes straight to my heart every time.
The process of moving is such an emotional (and physical) one! My husband and I recently relocated out of state with a 14 month old and I can relate to so much to the overwhelm, regret, and hope. My Dad passed away in 2020 and as the keeper of his belongings, sorting through those boxes again was my biggest dread. I went slowly but surely (it’s amazing what can be done during baby’s nap times!) and was amazed when somehow everything got done.
We’re still getting settled in here and the culture shock of living in the south as opposed to the Midwest is starting to set in. We also realized this week that because of his work visa, my husband will have to go back to our old city for six weeks, leaving the baby and dog and I told hold down the fort here.
Moving is so complicated but I think there are a lot of lessons ripe for the plucking and if we make an effort, a lot of integration and healing, too.
Wishing you the best on your move! 💗